Throughout my life, there have been many ways and times God has restored my soul. But one stands out in my memory. I was in my second year of seminary. The pace was hard. Single parenting, seminary course work, a part time job along with a seminary internship had combined to exhaust me.

Then came a Palm Sunday snow storm. I begged off going the thirty miles to my internship church, and went instead to the church that had nurtured me. Almost from the moment I entered the sanctuary I found myself immersed in the presence of God. Sitting among the people who had supported,  encouraged me and the pastors who had prayed with me, I allowed myself to simply breathe deeply of God’s Spirit. Throughout the worship service, I felt enveloped in God’s love and my tired, weary soul was restored.

*Howard Thurman writes in his book Meditations of the Heart, “The drain on my spirit from so much of hardship, the tearing of the brambles in my path, have taken their toll. All the energies seem to spend themselves merely in keeping going. The excuses of weariness and exhaustion seemed ever at hand and anxious to serve . . . Then, somewhere along the way, all seemed wrong. I took time aside for checking before God. I told (God) all about my increasing dullness, wearisome detail after wearisome detail. When I finished, I was spent. While I waited in my exhaustion, Strength and Renewal were at work in me. Weakness made strong – exhaustion transformed into energies. Deep within there was born the declaration that this risk I must not ever run again. I know now that God restoreth the soul moment by moment, if the door is not held tightly against (God)  or if it is not permitted to jam by too much of cares and weariness.

“He restoreth my soul.” Psalm 23:3

May God lead you to places of renewal, where your soul can find rest and restoration.

*Howard Thurman’s full meditation is included below.

The ravages of time are at work in me. I remember when to do the wrong thing brought sharp and swift judgement to my mind and to my spirit. Then there followed a period when much in me that was sensitive to error grew dull and numb. There was no marked and dramatic change – simply the quiet wearing away of the sharp and pointed consciousness of wrong. Until, at last, there were the dead places, the barren spots. It may have been some passing remark from a thoughtful friend, or a flash of light from a forgotten moment of searching prayer, or a challenge to sympathy to which my mind alone responded but, of which my feelings were unaware. Then I knew how far I had drifted, and in the wake of that awareness God moved with the swiftness of the eagle in the hunt. The miracle had happened – He had restored my soul.

The drain on my spirit from so much of hardship, the tearing of the brambles in my path, have taken their toll. All the energies seem to spend themselves merely in keeping going. The excuses of weariness and exhaustion seemed ever at hand and anxious to serve. Again and again, the words flowed into me – It takes too much effort to go the second mile – Why should I care so much, no one else seems to be bothered – It is all I can do to handle the necessities of my own life and that I do poorly . . . on and on the stream flowed unchecked. Then, somewhere along the way, all seemed wrong. I too time aside for checking before God. I told (God) all about my increasing dullness, wearisome detail after wearisome detail. When I finished, I was spent. While I waited in my exhaustion, Strength and Renewal were at work in me. Weakness made strong – exhaustion transformed into energies. Deep within there was born the declaration that this risk I must not ever run again. I know now that God restoreth the soul moment by moment, if the door is not held tightly against Him or if it is not permitted to jam by too much of cares and weariness.

God restoreth my soul!

Howard Thurman, Meditations of the Heart, 1953, page 215