Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” Genesis 27:41

If you think you’ve got problems, consider the home life of Rebecca and Isaac. With two sons, neither figured out how to love both of them, let alone treat both well. Isaac favored Esau at the expense of Jacob. Rebecca favored Jacob, at the expense of Esau.

Years of dysfunction created a rift between the brothers. Jacob, at his mother’s urging had deceived his blind father, into giving him ‘The Blessing’ meant for Esau, which was the passing on of God’s promise, from one generation to another. Once given, it could not be taken back. In losing the blessing, Esau vowed to kill his brother

Which is how it happens, Jacob is on the run. Having gathered bare essentials, with no time to say goodby to friends he sets off into the unknown. Anxious and afraid, looking over his shoulder, he hurries with no time to rest. All the while thinking of what he has done, and the terrible grief he caused.

For the first time in his life, Jacob is on his own. Somewhere down the road are relatives, who may or may not take him in. With his future uncertain, uneasy, and frightened his brother will find him, he begins to question the rightness of what he has done. Weary with running, in a mess, knowing he got what he wanted, sort of . . . Or did he?

Exhausted, with the sun setting, forced to stop, taking a stone for a pillow, he falls asleep. Caught between the future he does not know, and the home he cannot return to, feeling the sting of separation from his family, friends and his way of life, he rests.

One suspects Jacob’s sleep is troubled, rapidly scrolling through recent events in his mind, troubling his conscience, questioning his basic values, covering him with guilt and grief. Barely on speaking terms with his father, a brother wanting to kill him and agonizing over the question, if he will ever see his mother again. Shame and sorrow flood his thoughts.

On that night, his future uncertain and bridge to the past broken, Jacob finally falls asleep. There in the messiness of life, Jacob encounters God.

Alone, in that desolate place, haunted by shame, fear, guilt and anxiety, Jacob dreams of angels and promises. He dreams of God beside him, giving him a blessing, with the promise, “Know that I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you.” Genesis 28:15

Frightened, afraid and on the run, Jacob discovers grace, the undeserved love of God, unmerited and unearned.

When we least think it’s possible, God touches us with love, meeting us in our messes. In those moments we are ashamed, broken, and want most of all, to run away, fleeing our problems, hurt, embarrassment, shame, pain and heartache . . . Without ever letting a single person know how hurt, humiliated, broken or mortified we are . . . There is God, reaching out to us with love. Telling us in spite of all we may think of ourselves or however much we are beating ourselves up, we are a beloved child of God. Distressed, lonely, empty, despairing of our worth and value, there is God, with unexpected gifts of grace, and precious gifts of love.

After Jacob woke from his dream, knowing he had been visited by angels, he could only say, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it . . . This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven.” Genesis 28:16-17