“As soon as the meal was finished, (Jesus) insisted that the disciples get in the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he dismissed the people. With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night.” The Message Bible

Jesus fed the thousands who came. He took time for them, when what he really wanted to do was be by himself, to sort through all the emotions he was feeling.  Having just learned of John the Baptist’s death, he had searched for a quiet space to reflect and pray.  Instead he was met by a crowd.  Matthew tells us that when Jesus saw the people, “He had compassion for them and healed those who were sick.” Matthew 14:14

But, I wonder if Jesus recognized in those who gathered, the same unease and questions he had. If John the prophet who baptized, could be executed by Herod, who else was in danger?

Did they come to make sense of the horrifying news, hoping Jesus had answers for them? Were they too, reeling, from word of John’s arrest and beheading? I wonder if the people were stunned like I was  after the assassinations of President Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr? What security was there in life, if prophets could so easily be killed? Did Jesus find in this crowd, a sense of solidarity with his own pain?

Eventually, the day comes to an end. Five loaves of bread and two fish, multiplied over,  feed them all. Jesus sends the crowd home and his disciples away. On that day he needed time in prayer and solitude, to reflect on the world as it was and what that meant for him. So Jesus prayed.

We are not privileged to know the words of his prayer that night, but we know our own prayers when life interrupts our certainties and all our assumptions . . . Prayers expressing our bewilderment as we try to make sense of the new reality. Prayers for strength in our weakness and light in our darkness. Prayers for wisdom and guidance as we walk through  an uncertain time.

Jesus turned to extended prayer during turning points in his life. He left us an example of the vital importance of prayer. When the world does not make sense and we are baffled by it . . . As we wonder about our altered future and how that future will impact us, Jesus shows us the way of prayer.  A way of setting aside time and place to ask our questions, express our fears, unload our anxiety and draw near to the One who sustains us.  The One who keeps us in every difficult situation, reminding us that in spite of all evidence to the contrary, we are loved and do not face the future alone.