The problem we have in communicating with each other is that so many of us live in echo chambers. We choose friends who think like us and believe what we believe. We listen to and read the media which reinforces our world view. Sometimes, in order to simply ignore what other people believe, we avoid the subjects we disagree on. We often do that so no one gets upset. It may make peace for the moment, but it sure is hard to understand where another person is coming from, when we never talk about the subjects we disagree about.
The trouble with echo chambers is that the echo only responds with what we have already said. “Hello” shouted into a canyon may return multiple times – but it doesn’t challenge our thoughts, beliefs or values. It gives no opinion other than our own. It doesn’t cause us to do that walk in “another person’s shoes” that can be so enlightening. Instead it only reinforces what we already believe.
My denomination, The United Methodist Church, has spent the entire period of my ministry trying to come up with common language that all of us can live with related to the GLBT community. We agonize over whether clergy will be allowed to marry gay and lesbian couples. We put language in our church rule book, The Discipline, that disallows any person in a homosexual relationship from serving as clergy in our Conferences. Since my ordination in 1985, many denominations have come to terms with a changing world view on sexuality as genetic factors have been linked to sexual orientation. Others, like my own, are frozen in a different time span. What makes it even more difficult is that the United Methodist Church has a growing number of members in Africa, where in some countries, homosexuality is not only frowned on, but outlawed. A church that has positive statements related to the issue can also be outlawed in those countries.
Some days, I am completely frustrated with my denominations inability to find a way where we can all live together. Yet, I realize that what is frustrating for me, is incredibly painful for my colleagues in ministry whose sons and daughters, nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters are among those who feel the sting of rejection by the church. As do our members in local churches who carry that same sting of rejection for themselves or their cherished family members.
Many of us would just like all references to homosexuality taken out of the Discipline, allowing each Conference (Local body giving oversight in a certain area) to make decisions about these matters. Others are terrified of that direction. Last year, in 2016, my denomination almost reached the point of splitting. My bishop is asking all of the clergy in my Conference to pray for an upcoming meeting of Clergy in looking for a way forward – a way to move beyond our impasse.
Of one thing I am sure . . . if there were easy answers, we would have found them already. In preparation for our upcoming meeting, our bishop has asked us to spend time meditating and Journaling around the first chapter in the book of Acts. It is that point when Jesus leaves his disciples, asking them to remain in Jerusalem. He promises that they will receive power as the Holy Spirit comes upon them. I think what my denomination needs, what my church needs, is that in our listening and praying, we open ourselves to God’s Holy Spirit. In doing so, God may just give us the wisdom to move beyond our entrenched positions. God might surprise us by taking our divided house and making us whole.
We must allow ourselves to be challenged. We must allow ourselves to ask the hard questions. We mustn’t be afraid that God will disown us if we seek some other truth than we have known. However, all truth belongs to Him. His perfect truth is found within the pages of His life-giving book, and we must find our answers there. Times change, cultures change, but He does not, and neither does His righteousness.
As a family, our personal beliefs have changed drastically over the last couple of years, and I am teaching my son to question and test everything. To be responsible for seeking the truth on his own, rather than just latching onto select favored people and believing everything that comes out of their mouths (or their keyboards, lol). Next, he is to seek out opinions that disagree with his beliefs and see if the arguments hold water. Many times he can see right through them, but sometimes, more searching is necessary, and adaptation may be called for. But first and foremost, he is to hold everyone’s beliefs and interpretations (including his own) up to the unchanging truth of God’s Holy Word.
You’re a wise mom in teaching your son to be a critical thinker. May God bless you and your family as you search for God’s truth.
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